This one has been bugging me for a week or two now (I've lost track). I'll be honest: I don't completely understand this one, but it was this part:

"do not go to your relative's house when disaster strikes you"

That's bugging me. I just moved today- back in with my mom- and it's basically because disaster struck me. The guy whose house I had a room in asked me to move, because it was causing problems when his family wanted to come and stay. I'm not able to pay rent right now, so my only option was to move in with family or a really good friend. No friends offered, so I'm here at mom's until I'm able to pay rent somewhere. "Happy about it" is not a phrase I would use to describe this, but I thank God for my mom, and for having a roof over my head.

Still, that part of the verse is bugging me.

In the New King James Version, "when disaster strikes you" is instead "the day of your calamity," and let's be honest: that's just a catchier title. ;)

No deep thoughts about this one. It's been a long day. Had a great day at church, then spent the rest of the day getting the last of my stuff moved. Mom and I had a pizza, and I've been mindlessly scrolling through Facebook Reels while assessing my mildly achy body, trying to decide if I was going to sleep, or doing my Well-Versed for today. Well, here it is, so now I think it's time for bed. Cheers, and God bless.

Need a quick one today, because I'm in the process of moving. I saw this one in a Facebook Reel last night, and it made me think of doing these blogs. Well-Versed is me trying to work some things out. Some of the connections I've made before, but a lot of them I'm just making now.

One of the things I'm discovering since going back to church is that there is a big difference between my understanding now versus when I was going to church in my twenties. I guess I can chalk that up to life experience telling me more about the Word? Maybe I'm wiser, despite all the mistakes I've made? Maybe I'm wiser because of all the mistakes I've made? I have always tried to learn from my mistakes. All I know for sure is that I'm a lot better with God than I could ever be without Him.

But the point of this one is "Write down the revelation." Side note: "make it plain on tablets" is funny to me in modern context. It may even be funnier to you, if you're reading this on a tablet, instead of a laptop like I am.

"Write down the revelation." That's what these little studies are to me- revelation, and I thank God for illuminating His Word.

And "so that a herald may run with it." That's me. I'm the herald that runs with this revelation; runs with it through the rest of my life.

Also, I relate to running. I find myself overweight now, but I ran all through middle and high school. Running is pushing yourself, and it let's you get out with just you and your thoughts. I've been told biking and swimming are better for you- particularly your joints- and I used to bike wherever I went when I wasn't in school, up until I was in my early twenties. Point is: running with it isn't easy. It's work. And if you're going a distance (and I was a distance runner) then it is hard work.

Anyone is capable of running a short race without becoming too tired. But sprinting... that's a level beyond just running a short race. The best sprinters put in hard, hard work, running all-out every time they put their toes on the starting line. Practice or track meet, they're running their hardest.

I've seen a lot of Reels recently of sprinters running baton races, but when I think of sprinters, I think of Gail Eades (AKA "Speediepie"). Her, and a couple of others. When they ran at practice, they were always right there together, running pretty close. They switched off a bit, but I mostly remember Gail out in front. They'd come around turns leaned in at an angle, just haulin' it! They just epitomized "fast" to me. (We had a boy's sprint team too, but I couldn't tell you who they were. Sorry, guys.)

But did you know that even distance runners have to train to sprint? It was so we could sustain a final push for the finish line.

There was many a day that the coach had us out on the track running 440's, and where sprinters were running typically 42-45 seconds for a 440 (one lap), we were running typically 48-52 seconds. Our best distance guys were just about matching the sprinters, but not for as many laps as the sprinters would run.

What was fun about this was that we got to the point that the half-mile (two laps) was an all-out sprint for us. It was just a little fun before getting to the mile and two mile runs.

The mile (4 laps) was also a sprint, and you had to run all-out to win, but you also had to know your breathing and pacing was going to be right. My best time was 4:58- barely breaking five minutes. Our top two guys were fighting to break four. I don't think they did. I could swear that I remember them talking about having a hard time getting past 4:15 for a while, but the second guy has told me that he was in the low 4:30's, so my guess (based on how close together they were) is that the top guy was running in the 4:20's. They were all-out sprinting the mile.

The two-mile (8 laps) was more about endurance. I don't recall what my best time was- I think I just broke ten minutes, but I don't recall for sure. Pretty sure the top guys were running around the nine-minute mark. So, compared to their mile times, they were still running pretty hard.

I don't really have a point with all of this track talk, but I guess if I were looking for one, I'd say that my life is now a lot like running 440's- training to sustain a final push to the finish.

Why train?

Compete with horses? I have raced a horse before, and I needed a long headstart. And there were no thickets involved. So, train. And Father God is the best Coach we could ever have.

About that race:

But, how to run?

Even if I win though:

So that one day I might say:

Because in the end, it's all about our track record. ;)

I'll be honest: this one bends my brain a little. I'm not doing a deep dive on it this morning, but I should at some point. I have often looked at this verse, and thought, "Then when do you pray? How do you do it so that you receive your eternal reward, rather than the "reward" of being seen?

I mean... Christians as a whole... we preach things like, "Be bold. Never be afraid to pray with someone right where you are. The grocery store! The YMCA! The coffee shop! For he who denies Christ will be denied by Him on judgment day," etc. And sure, that sounds right. But... is it?

This verse makes it sound like praying in public is taboo. Like it should just be an intimate thing between you and the Lord. I... don't know what to do with that.

Sometimes, I just pray for someone publicly, and decide, "If I have my reward already for praying like this, then fine. Just let the prayer for them be answered." Meaning: I don't really care how big my eternal reward in Heaven is, as long as I make it to Heaven.

Thinking about it though- the time I prayed for dad in the hospital, and Father brought him to consciousness- I prayed that in private the day it happened. I was alone in the room with dad when I prayed it the first time, but I also typed it out on Facebook. And my thought exactly was to show myself as acknowledging Christ. The second time, the day the doctors were asking my stepmother to consider pulling the plug on dad, I prayed that time in private in dad's room. I took it as: I prayed it the first time, and the second time I confirmed I was entrusting it to God, rather than the doctors, so Father healed him. But... maybe he just answered the second prayer? The private one?

This definitely needs more thought. For now though... bed.

Yes, I went there. I was "young and dumb and twenty-one," and one thing led to another, and we did it. I've told this story in .The Daughter of My Heart, so I won't go into it again here. But the results of it...

• She wasn't sure who the father of her second child (a daughter) was- me, or her husband
• It ended her marriage
• Her husband had little to do with her son and daughter after the divorce, causing years of pain
• He has spent decades being angry about the affair
• She spent decades feeling guilty about the affair, worrying that people would find out
• She kept me and the possibility that I might be her daughter's father a secret from her daughter
• I wondered for over two decades if I was the father before I even figured out how to find her again
• The daughter didn't want to do a DNA test, so...
• I spent a little over another decade wondering before the ex-husband did a test with her, proving that he was the father

That last part really sucks for me. I had at least felt that if she was my daughter, then God turned evil (the affair) to good (my daughter). But she's not my daughter? That just leaves... the affair. When I realized that, the guilt just came crashing in on me. I have repented, and apologized to the daughter and the mother profusely. I helped wreck lives that should have gone differently, and I can never repay them for that. Never.

Verse 32 kind of says it all. I summed it up with the cliche "young and dumb and twenty-one" (which now that I think about it- why does it say "young" and "twenty-one"? Same thing), but I just cast everything to the wind with that.

And then Verse 33... "his reproach will not be blotted out?" I hope that this is covered by Jesus' sacrifice for us all, because that's the only way I can be redeemed from this sin. But if not, well, I earned the blame.

But look, here's the thing, there were a few others after this affair. There were a few different women that I got together with who told me they were separated and on their way to divorce. I had rationalized it- how is not important. But I truly did not think of them as adulteries until a few years ago.

And then there's the divorced women I have dated...

Does that apply the other way? As a single man dating divorced women? Did I commit adultery with them? I don't know. Their husbands had cheated on them, so their divorces were allowed. So, was it okay? My personal conclusion is that I at least should have married them (or, y'know, the first one), but really, abstinence just would have been better for me.

Notice that doesn't say, "looks at a married woman lustfully." I think we are just supposed to have more restraint than I have shown over the years. Also: yeah, this covers porn too, y'all. Just leave it alone. Yes, I spent a few years so lonely that I watched some porn. I don't anymore.

Here's an area that I don't think I have any experience with...

Widows and adultery?

I edited it so I don't have to explain the context of the previous verses, and Verse 13 was kind of tangential- it's not important to this blog.

When it says "first pledge," I don't know whether it's referring to the widow's marriage, or her dedication to Christ. I think it meant her dedication to Christ, because Verse 14 allows for a widow to remarry...

...and these verses confirm that. I have no real point with this "Widows and adultery" section- it was just an interesting side question to me as I was looking up verses on adultery.

Where am I at now with adultery, and sex in general?

I wish I had never been "the other man" for anyone. I've never been married, and I wonder if I've let myself in for being cheated on if I ever do get married (sin being revisited on me). I have certainly set myself up for trust issues from my wife, so I hope she's a Godly woman that sees my heart. Again, I hope the blood of Jesus covers that. If not, again, I earned it. I'll deal with it if it comes.

Sex in general... I dated someone from April to June last year, and yes, we had sex a few times (literally a few). Other than that, it's been a long fifteeen years. But as made obvious by last year, I still want it.

Or... I did.

"Did?" you say?

Yeah. Weird story. When I started going to Destiny Church back in March, I made up my mind on the first visit that this was going to be my home church.

On the second visit, I was so touched and overwhelmed by what I was getting out of the service, I sat there and said, "Okay, God. You told me I'd know my wife when she came, and I'd know her beyond a doubt." (Personal prophecy- that's a whole other discussion.) "So, fine, I'm going to believe that, and believe that I haven't completely messed that up with all the times I've said, 'Oh yeah, I know beyond a doubt.' So, I'm done with porn," (which honestly, I don't really like anyway) "and I won't date another woman until I know beyond a doubt I have met my wife."

And... just like that... the desire left me. It was like God just took it. It was like something lifted off of me, or maybe like something or Someone stepped in to shield me from something pushing against me.

Did I really mean it? Yes. Have I stumbled a few times in the last couple of months? Also yes. So, am I human? Also also yes. Does that I mean I didn't really mean it? No. I meant it. I'm a man, recommitting to my Christian walk, and re-learning what I should have settled on decades ago.

And I'm on the lookout, because...

That verse has actually come up a handful of times in the last couple of months. Finding what is good, and receiving favor from the Lord seems like a worthy goal to me.

You might be asking: why do I put my sins on blast publicly like this?

Well, honestly, I've never made much of a secret about them, for one. For two, I believe in owning my mistakes. And for three, if telling others about them prevents even one of you from making the same mistakes - committing the same sins - then I can endure that embarrassment.

But here's the thing about that: I believe I'm forgiven. Jesus died on the cross, shed His blood for our sins, conquered hell, death, and the grave, rose again, ascended to heaven, and sent us the Holy Spirit. All because He loves us, and wants us to be restored to the Father. No one gets there except through Jesus.

If reading about my screw-ups - my sins - keeps you from going there? That's great. Be found by Jesus before you go through all the stuff that I have. Please. I promise you that His way is better.

Yeah, I've been guilty of this. I don't remember when I started using "Jesus Christ" as an expletive instead of as a prayer. I do remember that it just came out one day, and kept coming out for some time after that. In similar fashion, "God d___" just popped out of my mouth on the way home from work one day, and stuck around for a while.

I'm sitting here trying to think if it has come out any time recently... I don't think so, but I couldn't say for sure. My goto curse word is the F-bomb these days. ...I'm trying to be more conscious of it. I'd really like to stop cussing altogether. It's been a comfort of sorts over the years to just let out a string of four-letter words when I have been angry, but I don't want to be that way anymore. I don't need that "comfort," because I have the Comforter- the Holy Spirit.

This verse says, "the Lord will not hold guiltless nor leave unpunished the one who takes His name in vain." It doesn't specifically say, "unless they repent," but I do hope that applies here, because dear Lord above, I repent! Please forgive me for breaking this commandment, sinning against You and Your Name. I am going to strive to use Your Name in only a prayerful or praising manner from this day forward, and to stop cursing altogether.

That's easy to say right now, as I sit here in the peace and quiet of my room. I know that temptation will come in this area. Help me to conquer this, Father. It has become an ingrained habit, but I want to break it. In Jesus' Name, I pray. Amen.

I have told people many times over the years, "I have found that life just goes better when you don't break any of the Ten Commandments." I couldn't tell them that, except that I've found it to be true. And this one has been a biggie.

I have three parents: my dad, my mom, and my stepmother. I have had ups-and-downs with all of them, and there have been periods where I was royally angry with them, and our relationships were nothing but that. There were reasons- maybe some really good reasons- that I was angry with them. There were some bad ones too. And some of that anger was earned by them. But the point is: I haven't always honored them.

My original thought was to tell the ways I had dishonored them, and why, leading into honoring them after that. I had written a pretty extensive rehashing of my grievances with just my dad and my stepmother, and was about to start in on my mom, but then I deleted it all. Why? Because that doesn't exactly match up with the title of this blog, does it? So, starting over, and I'm going to try to just honor them here.

No stepdad?

I have had a stepdad before, but we weren't really part of each other's lives, so I don't have anything much to say about him. I will only say that he was married to my mom for nine-and-a-half years. Things didn't work out for them, and that was that. He once arranged for me to come out to Vegas from Thanksgiving through New Year's to surprise mom.

Mom

My mom worked at the school board, and followed her boss to a new high school to be his secretary when he became principal. She eventually left, and went back to college to get an English degree. Before she was done with her student teaching, she decided that she didn't really want to teach.

She was married to my dad until I was eleven, and then they got divorced. She moved to Boston, and then Vegas with the guy that would eventually become my stepdad. They eventually divorced. She lived in Vegas for over twenty-five years, working HR jobs for multiple companies, including hotels on the Strip, casino supply companies, and finally the largest non-union electrical contractor in the Sourthwest.

When I needed to get away from my living situation in Michigan, mom made it possible for me to go to Vegas. We lived together most of my six years there. It wasn't all great- especially once the economy collapsed out there, coupled with when we started realizing that my grandmother was in her last years. We fought a lot at that time- sometimes bitterly.

Eventually, we both left Vegas. I came back to Virginia, and she went to Texas. When grandma's health declined more, mom came to live with me so she could try to help my aunt with her care. We fought even worse, because we were both grieving the impending loss of grandma, and it only got worse after she passed. It wasn't long after that mom moved out and got her own place.

We started getting better with each other after that. We still have our ups-and-downs, but nothing like it was. Mom is retired now, and enjoying it. She enjoys gardening, helping her neighbors when she can, and helping family members when she can. And yes, she helps me when she can too.

Dad

My dad was in the Air Force in Oklahoma when I was born. Later, rather than get sent to Vietnam, he was stationed in Alaska. Mom and I came back to Virginia then. When he got out of the military, he became a policeman. He was also a volunteer fireman, and volunteer EMT. He taught first aid for the Red Cross, was a firing range instructor, and taught Defensive Driving Class (DDC) to people who had gotten traffic tickets. He eventually opened his own business for DDC. He retired after thirty-five years in police work.

After he and my mom got divorced, dad tried hard to provide for me, and keep me going. It's easy to forget that he was grieving a marriage at that time. It wasn't long though before he remarried. My stepmom came with two boys of her own, and my dad has been their dad ever since.

When my youngest brother and his wife had their first child, that's when he retired fully, and he babysat my nephew (and the next year my niece) for the first few years of their lives. They call him granddaddy, and he's been nothing but good to them. I wish they could go back and see how much he loved them at that time.

We thought we were going to lose him in 2019, and that was one of my biggest, most powerful faith-building moments. The doctors were asking my stepmother to consider pulling the plug on dad. I had already prayed for him, entrusting him to God, and I stood on that. Dad woke up after several days of being asleep on a ventilator to the amazement of both us and the doctors! God is a great God!

Stepmother

My stepmother and her two sons moved in with dad and I just before they got married. ...I have to be honest: sometimes, there feels like there's nothing good to say about my relationship with my stepmother. ...There is though. She kept me alive until I moved out.

I don't know where she's coming from on anything. Her first marriage was pretty much hell, from what I understand, and her eidetic memory won't let her forget it. Unfortunately, that seems to have molded her to use that memory to hold onto every bad thing that's ever happened or been said to her. She's holding a lot of trauma and unforgiveness, and doesn't seem able to let it go. She created some of it, but that's beside the point.

Our relationship has been more down than up. I came back to Virginia hoping that would change, but it hasn't much. It's been a little better since we almost lost dad, but by inches.

She worked for the county water utility until retirement, and basically took over from dad with the grandkids. Just as her mother was known as "Nanny" to me and my brothers, she is Nanny to them. She cares for them so much that the two spare bedrooms in her and dad's house are for the grandkids. Yes, they have their own bedrooms when they go to Nanny and Granddaddy's house. She might dote on them a little.

She's just as devoted to Shane and Bryan. I hardly ever get through a visit or call where she doesn't brag on them. She is all about them.

I'd love to have peace with my stepmother. I need her to give up her control issues when something happens with dad, and I surely need to give her a break when she won't do it. I love my stepmother for being with my dad for thirty-eight years, and for being there to take care of him when his health is on the rocks. Do we have a lot of issues that need to be worked out? Yes. Will they be? I don't know. I think she may go to her grave with it. I'd like to hope not though.

I also hope I don't go to my grave with it. I'm working on giving it all to God, and trusting Father to help me forgive where forgiveness is needed. And I hope that they'll forgive me where forgiveness is needed. I do love them. I wish I had a good way to show them that.

In Well-Versed #11, I told a story that started with this:

Sometime in my twenties... I was praying as I drove, just agonizing about how I might be a witness to my family when things weren't going the best for me, and how they might come to the Lord.

Now, the reason I was agonizing over that was this verse...

...and another that said something about taking care of both parents and grandparents. I thought that verse was in the same chapter, or at least in the book of Proverbs somewhere, but I tried several ways to find it in the Bible app I'm using, and it didn't come up. In fact, I actually came up with the opposite...

...which lines up with that first verse from Proverbs 13. The closest I found to the other verse I was looking for was this:

That is what I was looking for, but I thought what I had seen back in the 90's was a verse worded basically the same as the Proverbs verse.

Regardless, the point is: I was truly agonizing over how I could provide an inheritance for my children, my grandchildren, and take care of both my parents and grandparents, when I was barely taking care of myself. I got what was to me a very clear answer from God via a radio snippet that said simply, "Your family's covered."

Now, what He didn't say was they were covered by me. I thought of that fairly soon after hearing, "Your family's covered," if not immediately (it's a little fuzzy). Somewhere along the way, I realized that although my youngest brother goes by Bryan, his actual first name is Joseph. Like the Biblical Joseph, he was the youngest, and doing the best of me or my other brother, Shane*. So, it occurred to me that I might see a parallel in Bryan's life where he is raised up above both me and our other brother, and be the one that winds up covering the family.

Bryan is landlord over multiple properties with a total value easily over a million dollars (I suspect easily a few million dollars, but I don't really know), and has plans that I believe will cover his children and beyond. I don't know if he's prepared to take care of whichever parents become widowed (on both his and his wife's side). We've never discussed it, but I bet he has at least thought about it. He's very good with finances, and seems very committed to handling finances in a Biblical way. While I... find myself broke; even more broke now than I was back when I prayed about all of this. So, between Bryan and I, life seems to have borne out that parallel of him and Joseph.

But these verses still convict me. I still at least want to be in a position to provide for my family if I need to. Right now though, outside of God's provision, I don't have the means to take care of even myself. That's a humbling, and indeed scary thing. What I'm re-learning now is to not give in to that fear. Because my God has never failed me. He has never failed me. I find myself super-broke, and needing a place to live, but He has always come through for me, and He will not fail me now.

Why is this important to me? Because the Word says it's pleasing to God. But more- here's something I've run across several times today while looking for the other verses:

Oh, dear Father! Please, enable me to provide for my relatives! Enable me to provide for my own household! ...This has been a conviction of mine for most of my adult life- that I can barely afford myself, much less any family I might have. As someone once put it to me: at my age, it's unlikely that any woman I might meet doesn't also come with children. So, I've got to be ready to provide for all of them. And right now, I still barely take care of myself. I want to be better than that, but at this point in my life, I don't see it happening without God's hand in my life. I will certainly strive for it, but I know He has to be in it for me to win it.

I put these two together, because that's how they spoke to me.

That part in verse 7, about "to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet" -that is true. At least, it is with me in church. My pastor said something to me, Wednesday night, that I think most people would have taken badly. I won't say what it was, because it was just for me. The point though, is that I didn't take it badly. In fact, I was glad to hear it. I've been enjoying church so much for this...

...that I don't care if it's praise or something hard-to-hear, I've enjoyed it. Of course I enjoy the hard-to-hear stuff a little less lol, but I'm eager to change some things in my life, and my time in the desert didn't do it, so it's time for being around others for it. What the pastor said to me was a little bitter, but in my present state, it was so sweet. ...That just means that I'm that hungry for the instruction and encouragement.

But back to why I paired verses 7 and 8 here: because verse 8 hit me a little bitter, but again, it was sweet, because I'm eager to face things that need change. But what does verse 8 mean?

Like a bird that flees its nest is anyone who flees from home.

Proverbs 27:8

More importantly at the moment: what does it mean to me? Why did it hit me? Well, I just had to move out at seventeen years old, so I identified with this verse. I fled my home. But what does it mean that I'm like a bird that flees its nest? As you might have guessed from the title, the answer I came up with is: it means you're flighty. lol

But okay, what does "flighty" mean?

Honestly, I don't think "fickle," "flaky," or "thoughtless" apply to me. ...Maybe towards myself, if at all.

"Unreliable" and "irresponsible" though? Applies a bit more, I think. I haven't taken good care of myself. I stayed healthy enough for the most part, but I've been overweight, and last year was diagnosed as being just over the line for diabetes and high cholesterol. But also: I haven't taken care of myself financially. I have zero retirement set up. No 401K. No savings. Right now, not even a job.

That's all changeable, whether by my own work or a miracle of God. And yes, I believe that applies to both health and finances.

Not taking care of myself like that has been irresponsible though. I mean, more to the root: it's been apathetic; I just haven't cared. "Apathetic." That goes back to .The Most Excellent Way, where I identified apathy as the opposite of love. So, even more to the point: I haven't loved myself. And that is surely true.

But all of this has spilled over onto my other relationships the last few years. I've let everything go to the point that I wasn't able to pay rent to my roommate. God love him (and bless him!), he tolerated it for a few years, until he just couldn't anymore. I was unreliable to him, and that was irresponsible of me. And maybe... well, yeah, it was also flaky and a little bit thoughtless.

It wasn't "irresponsible" in the vein of a movie's stoner-dude roommate who's just too high to do what he was supposed to do. Honestly, I was lost in grief turned into depression turned into feelings of worthlessness turned into not knowing what to do next.

I feel that I'm still fighting that, but I'm coming out of it. Yeah, I still need a job. Yeah, I need a place to live by the end of the week. But I want it to change.

Flightiness: You have to go, in Jesus' Name. That's just all there is to it.

I have to change. Who wants to be known as flighty?

Time to be fighty instead.

I don't have a whole lot to say about this one. Just that I've been in survival mode for so long, that every penny has gone to bills, gas for the car, and food. Since I started going to Destiny this past March, I've been tithing again. I haven't had a lot to give, but what has amazed me is: where the little bit I've had coming in has usually just covered an immediate bill, since I started tithing, the money for the tithe has been there too. Which means that a little more has been coming in so that I could do both.

God is faithful like that.

I moved back to Virginia the very last week of 2010. I had been out of work then since October 30, 2009, and it would take until August, 2011 for me to finally find a job. But let me tell you: as hard a time as I was having with it, the next time I had money, I decided to pay the tithe to the Baptist church my dad and stepmom were going to, and that week, I got hired.

God is faithful.

Preachers point this out all the time, but tithing is the only area where God says, "Test me."

Although, there is the passage where Gideon requests that God allow Himself to be tested:

I don't think God is scared of being tested. "Give me a sign" is the same thing as "Allow me to test You." Father will prove Himself to us over-and-over again if we ask in faith. Sometimes it's a sign. Sometimes it's paying the tithe. Sometimes it's a prayer for something or someone.

I told the story in yesterday's Well-Versed about how I prayed to Father, entrusting my dad to Him. And He answered- he brought my dad out of his days-long sleep when the doctors were telling us to consider pulling the plug on him. That is a mighty God!

God is faithul.

I'll tell you something else that He did once to answer a prayer. This wasn't exactly a test, but it sure hit me as a sure answer.

Sometime in my twenties - so about thirty years ago, give or take a little - I was driving in my car, and had some kind of music playing in the cassette player. I was praying as I drove, just agonizing about how I might be a witness to my family when things weren't going the best for me, and how they might come to the Lord. This was over maybe a fifteen to thirty minute drive.

I got to where I was going, and my process for turning the car off was hit eject on the cassette-player, and turn the key off right behind it. This usually got me a one-or-two-second blurb from the radio between eject and turning the key. This time, after praying for my family, I hit eject and turned the key, and the blurb I got from the radio was three clear words in the deep, assuring voice of an insurance commercial: "Your family's covered."

I haven't worried about my family since, and most of them are believers now.

God is faithful.

Broken Soul is another blog series I have on Comic Vine. When I first started it, I didn't have "Psalms 51:17" down in the corner. It was "Broken" Soul, because my first online journal, back in the 90's, was "Bare" Soul. When I started this one, I just felt broken. Just a whole lot of grief going on, and it was stopping me from doing anything. Anything.

One of my first steps forward was putting that verse down in the corner:

I checked Bible Hub, no translation they have says "broken soul" instead of "broken spirit," but that's okay- I'll just call it "artist's license." The point of it was this: let's take where I've just been feeling broken, and turn into broken before God, because Father is the only one Who can put me back together again.

What does that verse mean though? The Amplified Classic Edition explains it more thoroughly:

Still working on it. I imagine I always will be. I mean, there's always something to repent for, because none of us are perfect. To not be despised by God though? Worth it.