The Tale of Emma Glass & Katina Choovanski:
An Imbalanced Relationship
On a first reading of Strangers in Paradise, our initial encounter with Emma Glass occurs in a memory/dream when an exhausted Katchoo zones out in a Houston diner (SiP Omnibus 1, p 93). We have been aware since Katchoo’s interrogation by Detective Walsh (SiP 1, 67) that she has a prior record of felony charges. But what charges? Assault, Larceny, Arson? Prostitution is not the first crime one would suspect in an assertive, amiable, reckless woman. The memory/dream shows adolescent Katina nervous & weeping in the back of a limousine on the way to her first assignation as a call-girl. Emma appears suave, elegant, witty….cynical, in-command, callous, & determined that Katina will begin a career in prostitution that evening. Katina weeps because she is about to lose autonomy again, becoming a receptacle & toy to sate the lust of a partner she does not desire. In Houston her autonomy was wrenched away by Ace’s violence. In Los Angeles her autonomy is sold away for money. The emotional wound is grievous each time.
Between 4 and 5 AM, Katchoo wakes & walks to the piano to reread, & possibly replay (quietly!) a song Emma dedicated “For Katchoo, yours always, Emma.”
I Dream of You
I don’t know why, but I do, dream of you, losing you, I still dream of you, I dream of you.
I don’t know why, but I do, think of you, tho’ we’re through, I think of you, I think of you.
Is it the same way for you?
Doesn’t “hi” and “goodbye” sound so cruel?
How can I take my heart from you?
Even tho’ I’m losing you, I still dream of you, I dream of you.
In a park near the O’Neal Gallery, Katchoo describes Emma to David as almost a saint, an embodiment of the archetypal Hooker (or Call-Girl) With A Heart Of Gold:
“I was half dead, dying of malnutrition, when this woman, Emma, took me in. She cleaned me up, nursed me back to health. She saved my life! I was dead and she gave me back my life. She was the sweetest, most loving person I’ve ever met. I would have done anything for her… She was a prostitute. A very…exclusive…highly paid call girl…and…for awhile…so was I.”
And then we see the photograph of Emma & Baby June in Hawaii. The smiles are radiant. Yet the image is of imbalance & inequality. Baby June looks smaller & younger than she did in high school, like a child snuggled to her Momma’s chest, partly hidden by Momma’s strong, protective, controlling, maybe imprisoning arm. Chilling words are superimposed on the image:
Echoes of home are haunting me.
It must be so, but Oh God, why me?
Like a stone thrown ‘cross the water
My eyes across the crowd
How vain my hope sails on the day ‘til nightfall drags it down.
In hell the women scream in pain
That echoes down my hall again.
At night their voices waken me
And I clutch my heart and pray they leave.
“A TOAST TO THEE!” my host did shout,
Tonight at dinner in this house,
Yet now designs to murder me,
And since I’m home, I cannot flee.
Whoa! Darkness is upon us. And then sleepless, chain-smoking Katchoo has another memory (SiP 1, p 126), another version of Emma preparing adolescent Katina for her first assignation as a call-girl. Here Emma is darker (her dark eyes quite sinister), harder, sloppier, meaner, smoking, yawning, more plausibly a crank addict, more callous, more cynical, just as in-command.
The juxtaposition of (SiP 1, p 93) and (SiP 1, p 126) is fascinating. The first, milder image is clearly a screen memory, i.e. a subconsciously distorted, cleaned-up, falsified ‘memory’ thrown up as a defense against a more accurate, uglier, repressed memory that would be distressing and could undermine cherished, comforting illusions about ourself or others ---- such as Katchoo’s illusion that Emma was the idealized, angelic savior/sister/mother/lover that she pretended to be, and that adolescent Katina so desperately wanted & needed her to be. From age 17 to 26, Katchoo has repressed & suppressed memory & awareness of Emma’s Dark Side. The emergence of (1,26) into consciousness is a sign that Katchoo’s idealization of Emma is crumbling as death approaches.
Katchoo’s old t-shirt from Oscar’s Bagels stirs another positive memory of Emma feeding up adolescent Katina out of life-threatening malnutrition. Yet, “Eat up, Chewy! We need to put some meat on that scrawny butt of yours!” carries overtones of fattening the sacrificial lamb to make ‘Chewy’ a more attractive, profit-making prostitute and a more enticing gift to Darcy Parker.
Katchoo’s attendance on Emma as she dies at St. Mary’s Hospice (SiP 1, pp 136-143) shows that Katchoo is still firmly on the side of loving & idealizing Emma, despite the emergence of dark memories such as (1, 126). This highlights the central place Emma occupied in Katchoo’s life & heart from the time they met in Los Angeles until Katchoo returned to Houston & Francine, about 5 to 7 years. Adolescent Katina needed someone to love & trust. She poured more love & trust into Emma than the older woman deserved. On her deathbed, Emma recognizes Katchoo’s need to love: “You need to let somebody….in here. I mean somebody who’ll stay with you.” Emma also comes close to confessing and apologizing for the Dark Side she brought into Katina’s life: “So much… anger. It’ll eat away at you till there’s nothing left.” Yes. Anger. ANGER! Anger at Ace. Anger at Darcy: “I owe you nothing! You took my life and turned it into a frikkin’ nightmare!” (SiP 2, p 31). Anger at “everybody I had to be with at Darcy’s. Every. Single. Body.” (Parker Girls, p 35). Justice says the person who coerced you into prostitution & sold you to Darcy deserves a portion of your anger. Me. Dark Side Emma.
The hospice room has no decoration other than an institutional cross and the framed photo of Emma & Katina embracing in Hawaii. Evidently, Emma has no remaining family ties. One can easily imagine Emma’s upright, middle-class Canadian parents recoiling in horror as she began her career in sex-work, and the screaming arguments that burned her bridges to them. Emma is alone in the world. Emma is only loved, and perhaps has only ever been loved since her youth, by one person, Katina Choovanski. There is a motherly-daughterly quality about their death-bed interactions. To some degree, Katina filled the role of the daughter Emma never had, and Emma gave Katina more mothering than she ever received at home.
Emma’s ghost, spirit, beloved memory, internalized image, or whatever manifestation you will is a powerful presence as Katchoo lies near death with a gunshot wound to the liver (SiP 1, pp 242-244). So powerful that a lump of obsidian the late Emma hands to Chewie in Heaven’s anteroom manifests physically in Katchoo’s hospital room (SiP 1, p 261).
Ghostly Emma manifests again amid the flaming wreckage of Flight 495 (SiP 2, pp 353-356), silently proffering a hand to Katchoo to guide her into the afterlife, in the style of Ma Malai. Katchoo instead exerts extreme emotion-fueled strength to rip away the debris pinning David in his seat and to carry him to safety --- another instance when love proves stronger than death. Ghostly Emma looks downcast, as if grieving but accepting that she is no longer at the center of Katchoo’s heart. Katchoo has moved on, to stronger and purer loves.
The capstone --- perhaps tombstone --- is placed on the Emma-Katchoo relationship when Tambi Baker reveals hard truths to Katchoo aboard Mr. Tucciani’s aircraft (SiP 2, pp 398-399).
“All of this was in place when Emma introduced you to Darcy. She knew Darcy had a fetish for teenage girls…”
“Wait a minute…”
“And Emma needed the money for crank…”
“That’s a DAMN LIE!”
“Is it? Why do you think Emma got you into prostitution? What happened to all the money you made?”
“I…Emma handled all that.”
“Why do you think she pulled you off the streets? Because she felt sorry for you? You were a cash cow to her. Don’t tell me you’ve been harboring some sort of romantic illusion about her. Not you!”
[glare]
“Hmm. I didn’t know that.”
To my knowledge, this is the first time in SiP that Tambi smiles.
Tambi tends to be a truth-teller. When she reveals that Katchoo’s nightmare of Emma standing in the ocean in danger (SiP 1, pp 164-165) is based on an incident in Hawaii when “Emma overdoses on her new crank and nearly drowns” (SiP 2, p 399), it rings true.
The imbalanced relationship between Emma Glass & Katina Choovanski was mixed & ambivalent. Tambi clearly perceives and bluntly explains the exploitation, manipulation & deceit that Emma inflicted on the too-trusting adolescent Katina. Tambi does not perceive, but Katchoo does, the life-saving kindness, care & love Emma gave adolescent Katina (along with the exploitation & manipulation) when Katina needed it most. Her body was nursed & nourished to health. As important, perhaps more, Emma partly filled Francine’s role as a trusted, idealized base on whom Borderline Katina could build a sense of self, when for several years Francine was far away. Emma was a savior, a sister to laugh & joke with, a surrogate mother far more affectionate than Katina’s biological mother, a mentor, & a lover.
One of the greatest emotional challenges of growing up is learning, and coping with the fact, that people we love, have loved, & have idolized have feet of clay. It inevitably happens with our parents. The challenge & pain is greater if we learn that the loved one has been selfish, cruel, deceptive, even evil in some ways, and in doing so has harmed us as well as others. The love is not necessarily killed, but it is reshaped. It is not until Tambi has removed Katchoo’s blinders & enabled her to fully see Emma’s dark side that an imbalanced relationship between a flawed adult Emma and a too-trusting, too-needy, too-naïve adolescent Katina can become a balanced memory of love & hurt between a deceased Emma & an adult Katchoo
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